From McD

anne and my mum are bickering across the table while pouring all their attention towards anne's laptop talking about Genting. i have the urge to ask that i thought we had aborted that plan weeks ago since that landslide ocurred. i'm not really looking forward to it since i'm afraid of riding MOST of the rides. i have these images of 'final destination 3' reeling in my head. honestly i've been having these irksome thoughts for awhile now. Especially when it'll be just us girls tonight(yes that include my brother,whom is hovering over me at this moment warning me about not to eat his mc flurry,greedy midget).

right now i really have the urge to pee but i need to tell you about this really good book i've read last week.

NINETEEN MINUTES by Jodi Picoult.

i'm sure you've heard of her but haven't really make yourself to read her stuff.
well you should!
i was so overwhelmed by that book that i wrote a 2 page 'thoughts' on it.
i would totally share it with you but my journal is at home and i don't really lodge it around like some kind of holy book because the fear of losing it and falling to the hands of evaal. talking about that, i'm reading inkheart but i recklessly left it at my aunty's house.........................i know......
i really did feel like banging my head against the wall but restrain myself from doing so.Aren't you glad? if not i wouldn't write on this blog for much longer time.

i did something new this week :)

i KILLED ALIEN ZOMBIES on Hanis PS3!
yes you jeard me right,PS3.
it's so pretty it took my breath away.

Yes,i'm a game virgin,the only thing i've really ventured in are Lara Croft(on my bro's gameboy) and the sims(the old version). so, last wednesday i agreed to help Hanis killed them zombies.
and you know what happened? I DIED 2 SECONDS FLAT!
poor hanis,i was such an awful game buddy but after i took a piss i was determined to try harder for hanis! And i did,we completed the mission.the game is RESISTANCE 2,try your skills on that.
the day ended up with our eyes went totally bloodshot watery and my head feeling so heavy and my sleepingover at hers. i had a good time, always a calm and stress-free tome when i'm with her.

and guess what i got from her
sorry i can't rotate it,i'm in a hurry.
his name is
Pursley,it was on the tag.
=D
He looks like a stuffed animal version of Teddy(my new baby aka cat)

okay,till next time i really need to go to the loo.

new skin

you like?
i'm having second thoughts on it,i couldn't put my twitter,links and music in this skin.

before i get off

here's a picture that made me grinned toothily

we have our red haired phase.
***edit***
changed it to normal again because the other skins wouldn't work properly. very dysfunctional after several skins later.so i'm opting for a normal look,for now.

you know how much i love Flickr right? there's just so many beautiful pictures captured by these 13 and 14 year old, they really make your picture look like an amateur next to theirs. at first i was envious of their work but i couldn't be for long since they always manages to awe me with their work that i've learned to put all of those ego aside and learn from their work too.

TODAY i came across the link in Ella's flickr,thank you for sharing
Since Flickr had gone both photo AND video sharing, i am trilled to see that some one had put that to use.

moving picture of a girl

ANOTHER

guys

yeah you, tina,fara,mel and m.

i want you guys to update your blog as often as you can. just update on what's happening in your exciting(note the sarcasm) life like i am doing right now.

Just anything,anything,anything.even a picture or one line. doesn't matter.

*light bulb moment*

we should have our own blog,where all of us can write in it!!
it's 5:36 am.

i'm ranting.

laers

:)

you really should see me smiling like a geek right now when i was reading their blogs, mostly gerard's. he is what we thought he would be. yups i just finished reading through 6 pages of it, now before you start laughing up in a serious fit, it's not an essay long post(that's mostly gerard's post),the others are normally 1 paragrpahed post with a picture. i should really be sleeping right now coz it's 4:30 am, i know that i am buzz out but i seldom get the chance to use the net often these days that i really feel that i should make up for lost time now that i see there's actually better things to do online.

frankly i was bored online coz none of my friends are online when i am. i can't call or text them coz i'm too poor to buy prepaid. BUT just now Fara called me and she practically talked like a bullet train(nothing new) about the wonderful BALI. i love hearing people talk. for instance Tina. she always manages to come up with these lines in a convo out of the blue that i find it fascinating. not to mention absoulutly hilarious and sarcastic too. she's a master alrite. fara too.she and fara,those pair are more alike then they think...personally that's what i think.

so fara was talking about Bali and how AHSUM it is.
after me gushing over all the things she said we came to a conclusion that WE NEED TO GO TO BALI! all 5 of us. plan a trip before we head of to uni and college. i should ask anne when does the 1st semester starts. that gives me the jitters but i talked to Ella earlier on msn and she said she's enjoying college life. she said it's totally liberating to be there. i just pray that mine would be too. if it isn't that is just unfair after 5 years stuck in usj12,probably one of the most strict and boring school around subang jaya.i am NOT exaggerating here.

so BALI in June.
i MUST GET A JOB!

like hell my parents are going to pay for anything at this point.yeah yeah sob story about them which i probably will talk about in another post.

for now, i'm trying to use picnik but it just wouldn't function properly!
rite,emme texted me just now about some new projects she wanted to do, my answer is YES!!!!!

laers more post in a few hours after i catch some ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

yatta!

the boys are back,i missed them so much.
the new website looks completely normal, not like some epic grandeur layout and images like before. i guess the black parade is really dead, not like that made much different to me but now it actually does.they even have twitters on their webbie at the side, which is wow. now we really see them as normal people and not some hotshot rock-stars that i think they've been portraying before.all that mystery now isn't such a mystery after all. it's funny, the 5 of them on twitter following each other but they have like 92834803 followers.
yes, stalker mode activated!

i'm off again to read all their blogs and post.

now i have something to babble to marisa and fara on monday if we meet up.

laers

MIA

yes i have been for 3 months, but i have very good reasons for doing so.

but hold that thought,i'm trying to learn how to to blogskins on my own.

this will be interesting,we will see if either i'll pull my hair out or smile with delight, probably both.

so laeeers

cut short

cut off my hair last week....i am not in much favor of the new look.

i told the before i want to trim not cut trim trim !! but the minute he saw my hair me made this reference how it is not right and healthy. aghast by the commentary i gave in.

tonight i'm colouring it again.

yes you must read this.

1 month away from the net, 1 month! it is like i went cold turkey or something.don't get me wrong it wasn't just because of the trial exams that took placed for 3 weeks but the internet connection in my house just wouldn't connect. some mixed up with the wiring near the telephone lines and the modem.

but im here now on my aunt's house cross-legged by the arm chair checking through the things i've missed.

With raya just a few days away we wonder about the typical things it brings. You know the baju raya, food, money, money and ohyah what was I thinking the season for forgiveness among our Muslim family, friends and acquaintances! No guys that’s not a punch line so stop the smirking okay?

But honestly it is about being with your family and enjoying each other’s company with just fancier clothes and talk about all the merry happy stuff that had been going on the passed year not to mention meeting that very distance cousin you have up state again and was totally intrigued by his yearly transformation into a *laugh while I use this word* STUD.
Yup girls that is the real reason you cleaned up well and strut yourself with a beaming smile that probably flashes off like neon lights. And there’s nothing wrong with that cause you only get to do this once a year so make the best of if it as much as you can.

I’ve never realize this but my family had developed this tradition every time raya comes. Every morning on the 1st day of raya after prayers we will gather around the sofa and line up in front of our parents starting from my oldest sis, Bella, after that my 2nd , Anne,which was followed by mua then my
Bro. I’ve never gotten teary-eye amidst all the hugs and salaams. That mostly happened among the adults later on when all of the lot which includes 3 families from my mum’s side gathering at my house or my aunt’s and we threw a shindig! Spoiled ourselves with rendang, ketupat and pineapple tarts.. Ah the life aint it. After much fuss over our outfits, hair and make-up as my sister’s room became a dressing room where my cousins and I crammed each other’s faces in front of a 20 inch mirror that I had taken most of the space seeing the size of me! It will be like war for the mascara, eye-liner and mirror space. This also includes listening to my cousins pleading voices on making them look like a million bucks! I’ll say one thing and one thing only: “ I’m not a miracle worker okay!so stop hovering over me and yeeeeeessss I will help you!”,then we trudged off to my mum’s room and I’ll start to act like I actually know what I’m doing when I have not got the slightest clue about putting on make-up. Seeing that I’ve been a totally ignorant girl for the passed 4 years by turning my back on beauty cosmetics. About 30 minutes of cam-whoring later….we go downstairs and again lined up to the respective aunts and uncles that were giving out cash! You can’t ask from every adults there, it will be just utterly confusing and unfair right? The scene would be simply delightful because everyone would be shouting at each other , teasing, laughing ,smiling, and for the kids they got richer while the adults were having heartache giving out the duit raya to everyone of us. But it didn’t matter! It’s all in the raya spirit. So, after that commotion we huddled up in front of a camera and take pictures. So this year I’m thinking of shooting in film! Well both film and digital like I did with this year’s holidays because the pictures turned out really impressive. Oh!I’ll need a bigger bag this year to lodge around my Shotgun and Ace around. They’re my cameras…..yes I gave them names….it just seemed appropriate
Okay? and it was a natural process when those name came out. Shot gun because of MCR of course while Ace because of Frances. J

After bigger commotions over the shutters we strutted our stuff into the car, girls in one car while guys in the other. Yeah very sexiest but all for a good reason. The sweet sisterhood bonding and whipping up a plan on how to deal with that vain cousin that had lost half her body weight and looked great. Too bad she picked up an unpleasant attitude along that process. I wishes to shout that BEAUTY IS SKIN DEEP BETCH! don’t give us the side way glances and half amused smile while we shake our hands. Right…..of we go to start our journey from one house to the other until darkness lowers it’s curtain and the moon and stars dances out across the deep dark blue sky while our faces turned oily and sticky where oil bloater made unfeasible to do it’s job. So we’ll rest at the beautiful house on top of the hill with great plumbing and food. Surrounded by the baboons, wild hogs and aunts that annoys the f out you yearly.
The day couldn’t have been better. No pun intended there :P
It’s just always a perfect chaos as it should be.
That is what I’m looking forward to every year.

Irah

Ps: I’m reading boy and going solo by road dahl,so that’s why I feel like the words just rolls of my head and into sentences. That man was something. I was swooned by his stories in Henry sugar book. Quiet extraordinary for me since I’m a virgin with his books. But later on when I’ve read Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, I knew he was not just great but magnificent.

Come on guys!A CHOCOLATE RIVER !!!where can you just take a mug and scoop some out to drink. That is heaven for me. however the movie with johnny depp as willy wonka didn’t go parallel with my imagination of him nor the story.

liar liar pants on fire

i feel so compelled to write what went down on Friday but somethings are best kept as a secret.

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......

pictures does worth a thousand words........

and i managed to look retarded in everyone of them :)

ps:Sab,sorry for the purple hair,i went overboard

feedback

which one do you prefer?
or both you dislike?

M this is for you,since you have artistic P.O.V

i'm not sure if i actually like these pictures,it bugs me somehow.

tze vizion iz not thze yet..not ballissma ..just uck.

hookies!move over famous amos!

my attempt in making a happy face
i failed.miserably.
hey,at least the I love U part turned out pretty swell,doesn't it?
don't hesitate pips it is actually edible and made out of 100 % non-toxic ingredients.
*courtesy of M's kitchen and the back of Kellogg's recipe table*,
it worked minus the 1st batch being a little bit chewy and limp.

We now have proven that you can trust those recipes. being the skeptic that i am,i now beamed with satisfaction after a day of slaving in M's hot kitchen playing baking with the tards and syasya.

yurp.

a day planed out as MCR-The Black Parade Is Dead dvd marathon turned out to be a fun-filled evening of Tae-Yong ogled and goggled fest cramped in with a baking session with our 'lil' pastry chef expert Tella Stella aka Tina yusof.

her baking philosophy is "get down,get dirtay,we're making some cookies,get dawn,get dirtay!"

there's a vid of that but it took to long to post!

not to mentioned M's attempted or shall i say forceful behavior in making a B-shaped cookie intribute to her love and affection at the moment "Big Bang".

you'll be the judge of that!looks like an eight to me rather than B to me. *coughed + chuckled*

this best described with pictures

fuh!massive picture uploads!
for M,easier to past around my pictures now that i know blogspot can save pictures,though in the future i should be more wary of the pictures i will be posting yeh?

don't want any mishaps and drama now would we?

btw the "hookies" syasya is holding is made by the oh-so swooned Tina,intribute to her new and i dare say eye candy heartthrob Tae-Yong. *snickers*
T-shaped cookie that looks NOTHING like a T.

well screw that some one actually squealed and did a lil jump went she realized her name has the same 1st letter as her newest drool factor!

T-ina...Tae-Young....this made M squirmed.

there,the longest ACTUAL post i've made since i've signed up for this.

Oi you!

PICTURE OF THE WEEK!month maybe since i haven't been using my camera as often as i used to. Supaaa M doing her thing,just always a natural. it looks like she's actually laughing in this doesn't she?that's the best part about it.

ouh the pink fury thing is like a small pillow for arm given by morita-chan to me last year for my birthday.

=)
serious was never our middle name =)

this week was kinda good actually, met Sabrina last night and talked endlessly about her so-called "love life" and got more than i've expected though.
word is, PARAMORE might be coming here at the end of the year!
speculations and rumours are the best i tell you because they usually are true. just thinking positive.

i've made a will to stalk Hayley williams when if she ever comes here. tina is with me on this. my partner in crime as always.

tina gave me a bunch of her mixed CD so i've been indulging myself on those.also found some of my old mixed CD that totally got me tapping while i genuinely try to sleep which you probably will know resolving into me getting only 1 1/2 hour of sleep. whoop-de-do there!

so here's my songs of the week,not in order but each meant a lot to me.

heaven help us-MCR
woah-paramore
brother of the mayor of bridgewater-world inferno friendship society
me and mia-ted leo and the pharmacist
love sick melody-paramore
cute without the e-taking back sunday
i caught fire-the used
buried myself alive-the used
beating heart baby-head automatica
waiting on the world to change-john mayer
hey jude-the beatles


well mostly anything by the beatles, WIFS,MCR,paramore and listening to old songs that used to make my eyes go all awed and my fat ass dancing can make my day.
just kinda going back to somewhere you had done your growing up in and finding that the old cafe you spent time lounging around with some of your best buds just totally inspiring each other while the rest of your peer hanged out in the mall, still standing and serving the best apple crumble ever in your life.because even others had moved on into different interest, the ambiance of the place reminded you of what was....it helps too, to see that the little doodle on the wall had everyone else's including yours wacky notes and signature.


yah that's how listening to mixed CD feels like.

just pure bliss and at ease


off now and starts cramming my head with more educational stuff that's supposedly will determine my future.
*snorts *

step-up

i miss photography with a capital M.
love this picture to bits, the way it turned out just exceeds my expectations!
that was my first time using film and i think i nailed it. maybe not every frame i i really got a few shots that i will treasure not just because of the quality but the story behind those pictures.

this year i realized as much as Allah threw me into the pits with the whole dad getting maried to another,mum looks defeated, friends being immature and SPM i fortunately have my cousins to look forward too. i've never thought in anytime soon that i will be a family person.
seriously that's like a punch-line.
"irah thinks family is number one!!",
now i'll be just like the people that said that and make that expression of how important family is.

this year, THEY changed my life.
before it was photography,the year before that was friends and music.

90 days pulse till SPM,
i don't really think i am ready but i'm getting there, i'm happy with myself these days that even the worst turbulence head my wouldn't keep in from falling.

odd how things had changed when you put your mind into it.
things seems a whole lot better somehow

you,me and this

sometimes keeping a distance is the best way to over-come anger, count your numbers and back away from it.

i remember that fight we had where i almost had my fist buried in her skinny jaw so she would shut up. i think that's the most violent i've ever been towards another, seen reconciling with my sis involving the door incident. leaving without a door was quiet disturbing but i've managed. maybe that's what we need now, for everyone to come clean.
no more talking shit behind any of our backs, no more remarks and no more ignorance.
but that is just it!
there's always a glitch in communication between one person to the other, i've seen it around. i've tried to avoid them but being a human i make them anyways.
so what now?


so now, i wonder if what we have will just end with a bit of mockery and a fistful of anger?



song for this and for today, 8/8/08

No doubt-dont speak.


i'm listening to them for 2 weeks now,missed the old days i that was never in.

don't lose yourself!

so of the week..........
*drumrolls please!*

running by no doubt.

just says it all,i sleep with this song every night this week.

i can say some people i've met kept saying "i don't believe in the term bestfriends", well screw that thought girls!

by saying that you don't trust anyone at all, then you start thinking people hate you just because they don't smile to you or something, the fact that some people don't give others any chance to get to know them saddens me.
okay not really, i just think they are these skeptic fart that couldnt be a bit optimistic about others, hey i know i have my issues with writing about more personal stuff but that's partly different because this is the interwebz!
lurkers are everywhere, and i shall say this....never ever underestimate the power of THE NET.

that aside,

for me friendship means the world to me, i love my friends i hate them too but i know that if i want to make it work it will. its just truly about how to approach things and being patient and being assertive but kind all at the same time. have that kind of relationship really makes you grow as human as well as mold you into being yourself.

i think that in time its not really who you pick as your friends...but who you are really?
get me?
like if you can be with the most popular kids in your school or opposite it's about you yourself carrying that uniqueness within those group of friends or i can say cliques?

for me the obstacles that been thrown at me kept me want to work for it!
there has been trust issues that involves tears and rain, envy that has anger rolled of your backs and "creative differences " that lurched you into combat mode in protecting the things you love.

all the shenanigans i will look forward too in the future.

as usual i will go off-topic and make your head spin until i'm not even sure what's the point other than i really love that song and video clip.

it's the rock steady vibe babeh!
what else lah

just realized.

that people actually use blogs to write about things in their lives, like a daily journal and what not.

i'm really bad at this, i couldnt tell you the stuff that really goes under this thick skin of mine because i actually thinks people read it like my sister,which have a loudmouth of telling people about my blog, i guess that makes me paranoid.

i like to be private. i don't want people to have something to use against me in the future, that is how paranoid i am!
i know that i definitely evolves in time, so what i say today might not what i will agree tomorrow.
don't get me wrong i'm not fickle minded,well occasionally yes but..i can honestly say that i'm a growing girl with a mind of it's own. we all are right?

or maybe i'm just the only one that have opening up issues.
like tina and her ridiculous glass bottle theory.
x_x

i'm not doing this blog any justice,i like writing in actual books and journals again these days :)
since i was 14 i have this journal that i've filled it with total nuisance and scribbles of unsatisfied feeling. i hate it if someone read it so i scribble, only people around me and my teachers knows how "creative" my writing is!

i need a new journal, and definitely not a mole skin,
what a fad lah!
that's another issue i will touch on when i feel compel to tell.

we're running running

what friendship meant to me.

tornado

another one,she couldn't decide it in time so she bet it all and lose it all. they were just her apart of her mistakes. she didnt once think of her actions because all those heap of bad luck and constant mistakes were one with her by now. she didn't built it up and made a better place. she took the uglies scrap and pieces of life they've fuk over and laid it there for her soul to have some salvation.
to have some hope even thought it wasn't real.

so years past as she tried to built it up and make her own empire, where the sun sets and rises.
there she slept against his chest and listen with a slow breath of his heart beat. it was like the lulling of the waves. 2 decades they played this game of being a part of a holy matrimony.

now that she's older and tattered with more weigh around her hips with the beauty once gratify her persona was no longer with her.

as day passes her redemption was like a tornado with the nature o destroying everything in it's path too.......

i wouldn't want that.

this is just a draft.

with a loaded gun she walked across the courtyard

pish,i hate the fact that i have to fit in with my peers just to be justify as cool.

when they start appreciating someone for who they really are and not just another stepping stone to climb the subang jaya's social ladder, then everyone must have been screwed over by each other's "close friends"

yes i'm bitter this way.

i know you've talked about the day your "best friends made that pregnancy rumors about you",
my 1st thought is, are you blind or just duff?
probably both.

i'm just glad i close friends that stick to their guts but i can see that it is starting to waver. i'm just glad they've played a part in making me this skin thick and weird.

i like being weird.
i like not making conversations just to make new acquaintances.
i like i don't have to spent my parents money on materialistic stuff.
i like that i'm independent like that.
i like that this is not entirely a flunk.
mostly i love that im leaving highschool in 4 months.
:)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i know this is cheesy and not wise, but i thought screw that,i'm 16!!
not 61,
i can be as unwise as i want to be.
i tend to forgot the good things in life as the day passes and the stress built up,but i'm writting with positivity and a smile in my mind.

guys, i want to be peter pan!
or maybe one of the fat lost boys.
probably the cute one, with a huge belly:)

MOOOOvies

i want to shake things up and be as smart as Brenden.
or
i want to play with the boys in the band with Jesse .
or
i could trash hotel rooms with William aka the enemy

but right now i rather be all badass with Brenden with the brain as my sidekic!
hmmph,he have more balls and brains than i do, ill be he's sidekick

---irah---

fashion statement or a deathwish?

life is a whirl-pool but i'm resting my fedex on the bed occasionally.
why am i such an optimistic, it sickens me too.

ah btw,

i think girls should appreciate their selves more and keep trying to accept who they are, if they hate it, changed it in a healthy positive way.

stop degrading yourself just to fit into crowds.

it's not the garment that make who you are, its you who make the garment as you wanted it too.
:)

awww,sugah!

love. she had that dream where she saw that guy that was always there behind the curtains and at the other end of the phone calls. sometimes when she listens to "other side of the world" , her heart clutches and soared because it only reminds her of him. so what is this feeling we have?

why do we feel the need to have that person in our lives just to make things feels complete?
i unfortunately or maybe fortunately haven't got a clue about that.

well, looks like love is blooming left and right,
for some it's just a silly heart-throb crush but for others it could be the real deal.

scene:

they sat across each other in a nice cozy cafe with the AC gentle playing it part to bay of those Malaysian heat. with a little jingle the door opened and closed but they barely heard the little mummers people around them are making because their eyes was only set at each other. but she couldn't hold the longing stare as captivating as he could.so she looked away and focused on the passers by going to and fro on the other side of the glass window...

she noticed that there wasn't a glint of sunshine breaking it's light through the cotton white clouds, it was now replaced with a gloomy sky with lightning flashed a few seconds ago. she shivered, so he came closer and caught her eye with a hint of concern.

they've talked about the things she could never talked about with other guys and he takes things lightly which made her feel more comfortable to break out of this shell she was always in. maybe his just a good talker she thought but then again those skeptical thoughts was pushed to the back of her head and she let her self relax and immersed herself in this little bubble between the two of them.they smiled and laughed and slipped away as the storm kept brewing outside damping the pavement and the concrete jungle around them.


love is something but i'm still not looking, not for him. :)
but i'm sure he's at the other end of a thread that's connecting us in some cosmic way.

remember frank and his theories?

--irah---

SPM,screw you.
i'm aiming for 7 a's for trials and screw you again-the one at the abck of my head- saying i can't get it.

they longed for her mortal thirst

the rain splattered on my beautiful parade but nonetheless it wouldn't stop this beautiful dance and the rhythm of success .

--irah--

"the truth is,i'm a bad person"

lets stop trying to beat the norm.
that's the punchline.

full stop.

oh btw,Trainspotting was unbelievably bold, outrageous and spilling with some good ol Scottish wit! A story that had been told in the best way possible without drowning it's sense of humanity,humor and reality. Heroin never looked so interesting mixed with the thick Scottish accent and smart dialogs about a controversial subject that's killing our mind,body and soul.
It's gritty and raw but appealing and entertaining.For me, i just wanted to know how is this madness going to end!
A tale of the euphoria of drugs and it's risk kept my eye glued to the screen.A harsh reality but we've got to face it right?

Also it's base on a book written by Irvine Welsh in 1993, a great cult hit.you know where i'm going with this right? Irvine Welsh is the same man who wrote Ecstasy:Three Tales of Chemical Romance.

that's where MCR got their name.





;)

now i'm waiting the chance to upload "into the wild"

she shines so bright!

you see,when i feel i need a little swing and some lifting up, i can always count on my british boys to make things "suu much batte-er"


and besides i live for punk movements.
those jagged twisted words of their songs couldnt come close to their meaning.Just in your face kinda of songs that never ceases to amaze you. the frontman is their leader whether you like it or not, you might call them a fagg for wearing tight pants even your momma can't fit in them, or maybe you but they brought it all at the center stage when the lights lid up and the crowds hold their breath for that one last scream. scream for euphoria! he said,scream for the dead!he said and one last scream for our broken dreams.make the earth rumbles beneath your doc martins and hi tops!nothing can beat us when we screamed for more and pumped our fists in the air in unison like a bunch of protestants infused with rage and anger.

checking out:

little man tate
Joy division
Bat for lashes

the last is worth checking out.But i dont think it'll suffice for me.I have to listen to it a few times and grow into it to say i love it.that goes the same to joy division too. even though its quiet well known among the punk movement back in 1979, i guess some things doesn't always fits the ears of the new generation like me.For little man tate, not bad at all. i'm not trying to be a music know it all but i'm a new listener to its music and i love the obscene lyrics that tells you a tale of boys and their minds with beer in their hands.Just one of the stories you can relate to,maybe?


i think i should have my own musical blog just dedicated to new music and old. To appriciate and
widen mind knowledge and most of all to move on. Well,maybe not move on entirely but be less biased of the new talented acts that have the same dreams of being heard through their tunes.I should be more open to listening new music. so that's probably what's that blog is going to be about.

so thoughts and takes on music i've came across or probably just glorifying my favourite musicians in more literal way.

ouh wait,as im writing this i've finally came around checking that movie trainspotting gerard once mentioned in murder dvd. i couldnt really catch what he was saying since i'm daff at time and have difficulty understand his jersey accent.

i have to say THIS LOOKS LIKE A WICKED MOVIE!!!

now,i'm also thinking of my own movie blog. My love for donnie darko and almost famous just seeps through your scull if you ever mention it in a conversation with me.

for now;
check this schomosome of a movie:





the soundtracks you say?
checking out as i speak or write.

"the call my dear",its for you

5 months down.

hmmm,I am ready now.not in the sense educationally but more mentally.

i feel better in some weird way.
like away from school and from my friends makes me misses them and thankful of them more?

i guess absences does makes the heart fonder.

BUT

i know we'll be agitated by each others behavior once the we start talking about music,our uninteresting school break and narnia.
except for melun,she'll be yapping away about BB and i'll listen cause she sounds happy. I'm glad she is.With the shit she has to constantly put up with at home, i feel like i need to save her from their mental abuse. She's already fragile and they're killing every ounce of her hope and dreams.

These are the things Allah swt throws at us and we certainly determine to make through these obstacles as human as possible.

do you get that feeling that when you're going through this thick soul seeping fog, that you're scared that you might loose yourselves or the people you have? or maybe both...........

that's our fear, its so crippling that it had paralyzed you in that same spot for years.But, you know, i know for a fact that "we are who we are" not our parents.
so fear not!
:)

stories we could tell people

I thought, ‘I have write about this’.
I want people to know this part of me that surprised some people that aren’t close to me like my friends and family. Or maybe I’ll surprised them of my musical attachments and passion. The outgrown passion that I once longed for again. It’s like I was living in this bygone era and stifling with fears of the thought of moving on to something new because my thought kept saying what was is so much better than anything now. And feeling that I w as born too late to feel the golden days of it all.
Maybe watching that movie had gripped me more by the neck than I’ve thought it had. Leaving it marks on my skin like little black tattoos of tear drops.

The thing im babbling away about is music of course. What else.

Oh I remembered the days where it was all music and nothing more, leaving and breathing it made me burned with so much passion that I got carried away into this world where none understood. My own little bubble where I happily roll around with the lot of em.

Like that song ‘Prison’, I felt that. It’s so much better to do something when you have your mate with you by your side. Nothing foolish that is. We’re not that cool for all those cancer sticks and fashion mayhem all to act upon the hype brought up by the media and older kids around the block.

‘But if their music was dying, wouldn’t they die with it? It had been the heart of their world for as long as Terry remember. Their music was more than a soundtrack- it was a life-support machine from childhood through adolescence and into what was passing for maturity. Perhaps they were all going to have to find other tings to live for, and the music would be just something they came back to now and again, like the memory of someone the you had lost’

That was one of the lines in Tony Parson’s Stories We Could Tell People book. It has been a journey and relief washed with a wave of nostalgia reading this book. I must stressed that none of the event occurred had happened to me, but the thought of music particularly rock and all it’s mishap made me flustered with exasperation because personally maybe that’s how it is. It’s just not the scene or anything because we all know that it has changed in time. But what it had brought you.

As I typed this, I’m listening to the beatles ‘let it be’, still awed by their words and music. I wouldn’t be a hippie just appreciating good music.

I remembered getting into them last year during the school holiday, 2 months of pure confusion but with this nice sunny days where I could just laughed it up.

I’m getting this feeling I can’t stay in one place for too long because I felt like my spirits caved into a dark hole somewhere in suburbia. This is all just fear. Fear of normalcy and not succeeding to their BIG EXPECTATIONS.

Then, now I must hold on to something for this is nothing and only the beginning. I know they will eat me alive so I think growing up with this awkward, intimate and freedom will constantly make me grounded of whatever happen. I wasn’t this brave nor was I talkative or confidence. But I can’t never curb that shyness and ignorance to the side because im a head case like that.

This book seems like a pretty good closure of understanding but a nice sweet beginning after a long time of weeping scrawling on my purple spiral bound book.

Now I understand that we need to let it fall down so it can rise from it ashes.
To loved and let love go.

Because ‘the pieces don’t fit anymore’, that song goes out to my parents and their crumbled marriage or what’s left of it….I’m still wondering where are we going from here when it looked so miserable and unsolvable .

-James morrison
-Jimi Hendrix
-Thomas eract
-Patrick fugit
-Joseph Gordon levitt
-Almost Famous
-Donnie Darko
-Brick
-Little manhattan
-lord of the rings 1,2 and 3
-Sixpence none the richer
-Garbage
-No doubt
-Romeo
-Shakespeare in love
-Across the universe
-one 3 hill
-Charmed
-sisterhood of the traveling pants
-shopaholics series
-nancy drew books
-avril lavinge 1st album
-Juno
-Narnia
-michelle branch
-Vanessa carlton
-Alicia keys
-Alicia simmons
-Gerard Arthur way
-frank iero
-ray toro
-micheal james way
-bob bryar
-brian
-bert mc cracken
-jepha howard
-quinn allman
-brian with spiked pink hair and rancid t-shirt

Anyways that what I wanted to remembered, continuing the list before. More to come in other post.

some thoughts scattered in my head.

langkawi 2008-the unseen and unheard-

we were like silent mannequin.
but the beach was , is beautiful.

ill just entertain you with pictures,because words can't be formed for this vacation ..in other words,im in a hurry.





















































































































































i know this look fit me perfectly right??