is she okay?

i feel slightly concussed by the work load i have to endure this semester. the myriad of task i have and want to do all jumble up into a small space of time in my days and my head left me feeling weary everytime i think over of the ongoing list "TO DO" in my head.
nevertheless, i feel more energize by the work needed to be done because it's super exciting and makes me feel like my work of art when i've finish it.

however, a sage advice to myself is
"never take on more than you can!"

this week and the next coming week will be pure agony because of the sleepless nights and lack of sleep, not to mention turning myself into a dag and being far away from the world because i'll probably confine myself in my room tinkering with my words and pouring over the books that will devour my soul in time.

but, before all that, i have the full intentions of taking out my camera for spin and photograph my lovely sister nadiah because i might need the pictures for my presentation in a few weeks.
gad, thinking about all the public speaking i have to give this semester makes me feel nauseous and weak at the knees.

whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
i don't like speaking in front of a crowd.
it gives me chills.
i have to practice restraining myself from saying shit, crap and fuck which will a huge boulder to overcome.

on a lighter note, im wishing HAPPY NEW YEAR in advance!

i'll reminisce about 09 next post okay, for i know and you know that i have a long winded nostalgic, irritated and thoughtful induced things to say about the year.
until next time...................
urgh

yikes

i'm up to my knees with assigments and task. this semester proved to be more challenging that previous. however it's a blessing that i have my sisters and friends home for the month which helped me to blow off some steam whenever i need it so i don't feel entirely lonesome or intovert all the time. i spent way to much time quarelling with myself that it's starting to creep me out.

18 and still green

"life is giving me obstacle, still I bite my tongue and say life is wonderful"-ZEE AVI

i've been listening to zee avi alot lately and find her filling the void in my life rather nicely. at first her album seem boring yet captivating. but after i heard the 4th time i distinctly picked out my favs and burned it into my 37 days of summer mix cd. i ponder into the meaning of her songs and let myself go to her sweet serene voice that reminded me of being by the beach side under a hut with my eyes blinded by the sun yet filling entirely contented by the heat flushing my skin.

not what i felt just now while waiting for dear ol sister at the side of the roadside inside the car without the AC on and breathing in the debris and dirt the KL air has to offer it's population.
i was in a dangerous mood because i hate waiting. that i have no patience for. i cursed the sun and everyone on my path because i need to vent out the anger boiling inside of me. as if god is laughing at me i saw a huge billboard saying

"HAIL THE SUN"

fuck you.


you must be bored of my on going rant about silly things so i'm going to change the direction and steer you to more clearer water with less obscenity in it.


yesterday i called a very good friend and listened to her breaking down on the other line of the receiving line trying to contain herself. time like this i would trade anything to obtain the power of teleportation.

after talking to her and giving my two cent on her sticky situation i came to a realization that we try so hard to define who we are at a tender age because what everyone said and perceive what we should be. i feel deeply disturbed by the way of thinking most people had towards who and what you should be. i know it's only natural to want everything in life such as happiness, money, stature and a spot in society. but most people is succumbing to a life of endless scrutiny and pushing themselves aside to fit into the the mold. but come on, we all know that with the life we live in now, nothing is set in stone.

i hope my peers will stay brave and unadulterated so we wouldn't be a carbon copy of each other.

so, i blithely ask you to throw it all into the bonfire and watch it blaze and shimmer in front of your unnerving eyes then spazexercise around it while singing incoherent chants.

honestly, we're only 18, it is okay to not know what we want to be in life. all we can and should do is find it and make the best of ourselves in this world that's constantly changing it's direction.i'm a firm believer that as human being we are constantly recreating ourselves.

i'm turning 18 in 2 weeks so this is for myself really, so i don't forget who i am and let the world wash away myself day by day.

until next time, probably in 3 weeks.

interestingness

In my mind, I'm probably the biggest sex maniac you ever saw. ~J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, Chapter 9

since i'm homeless at college, here i am stuck in a fluorescent lit library freezing my ass of.
mommy where are you???

arrrggghhhhh

!@#$!@#$!$

i can fuking wait till semester break!
*have anyone notice that blogspot now censored all the obscene words like
fuck & shit?

i was reading Tina's past post and baffled by the mannerly covered up insults in tina's sentences. then i thought to myself "since when is tina so dang proper that she had to censored her words??"
don't take offense luv, i don't mean it in a bad way just that swearing is one of your many delightful traits and good at it.

hehehe..

it hit me that blogspot censored it. i have noticed it before so i'm not sure if this a recent development or that i've been blitly oblivious all along
=D

SOoooo...i figured what words are deemed inappropriate to blogspot

TO BR CENSORED OR NOT TO BE CENSORED
fuck
shit
damn
asshole
cunt
dipshit
fuckass
fucktard

i cant think of anymore right since i've been around proper mannered poeple this days.
tell me if you can think up of more,aye?

on a lighter note,
i'm having my finals this week and i am scared shitless over it! i had a week to study but stupidly abused and wasted the time given with merry-happy celebration (which i didn't regret) and stayed up til 4am watching HBO- IT'S NOT TV, BUT IT'S HBO.

then i watched pathology which wasn't scary at all but just horny. it was just about sex, lies and drug abuse. delicious? you be the judge of it. i say they lack humor like trainspotting.

NOTE TO SELF:
-get a new book to read
-get a new journal
-get a camera (yes fara, nikon's viewfinder is fuking small compared to canon, i had to squint my fat face to see through it properly. but, the colours are vivid)
-get a laptop
-stop buying on impulse

visual imagery

my eyes glazed over and my mouth stuttered when i see pictures like these.
these are from Light Boner at tumblr.com

did i tell you my camera broke.

what i do when i'm down...dun..dun..dun..daaa

i read back my text messages that i've kept in my phone over the years.
last week i had a rather emotional and stressful day that made me hate being around people.

so you know what cheered me up?
reading the text messages family and friends sent to me as wise words and a little pick-me-up or just for laughs.

from mel
"why the malaysian goverment insists on using english for math and science.
this is because the whole world uses the language as an information and/or technology language.
how dangerous it will be if we try to use bahasa, especially in school...
see example below:-
hardware=barangkeras
software=baranglembut
joystick=batang gembira
plug and play= cucuk dan main
port=lubang
server=pelayan
client=pelanggan

now try to translate this:

English: That server gives a plug and play service to the client using either hardware or software joystick. the joystick goes into the port of the client.

now in bahasa:

pelayan itu memberi pelanggannya layanan cucuk dan main dengan menggunakan batang gembire jenis keras atau lembut. batang gembira itu akan dimasukkan ke dalam lubang pelanggan.

now you know why"

totally made me L O L

after that text i found some very supportive and encouraging text from my family

from my pak uda aka uncle:

"study hard and all the best ok.
irah mesti boleh buat.
i have confidence in you"

this was given to me before i entered MSU. after reading that i just felt ovrewhelmed with gratitude and positivity that i can get through this end semester in one piece without killing some one at school.

now from fara:

" irah, i had the weirdest dream ever!! you n i, we went to an mcr concrt n we got to meet them. then we eneded up in a mall and you and i had an adventure with gerard n frank. i was with gerard n u were with frank. we had to hide from their fans n crazy ppl"

this actually was followed by 3 other text explaining what really happened in that fantastic dreams of hers.( i wish it was real)

i remembered reading this text by tina at work and it made my monotonous day!

Bush dapat msg dr Osama
"-VWVSO-
i37OH SSV,
O773H-
dia tny fbi n cia, tp no clue, so with d russian help they solved it by reading it upside down.

it actually says " hello ass hole-osama"

from my lovely sistas!

beila:
"hey i hav to say ur the strongest or most emotionally stable amongst 3 of us....."
nadiah:
"i lov u irah!mmmmuah!:-0"

i love them both dearly. so much. not even in a bad way. just sincerely love.

something about edward cullen....

from tina:
"haha nol saranhandago hiroshi! yea man edwardooo!"

NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS!

from fara:
"i always wanted to tell you that i would do edward in a heartbeat:)
hahaha"

I NOW HAVE PROVE FARA! PROVE!

i would say the text of all time would be from tina, dated 24-feb-2008 at 12.58 am

"dude, mel got wasted man! farah's trying to yell some senses into her."

=)

Reblog

“Before you can grow up, you must fall in love 3 times. Once you must fall in love with your best friend, ruining your friendship forever. This will teach you who your true friends are, and the fine line between friendship and more.Once you must fall in love with someone you believe to be perfect. You will learn that no one is perfect, and that you should never be treated as any less than you deserve. And once you must fall in love with someone that is exactly like you. This will teach you about who you are, and who you want to be.And when you’re through with all that, you learn that the people who care about you the most are the ones that you hurt, and the ones that hurt you are the ones that you needed the most.But most of all, you learn that love is only a concept and is not something that can be defined, it is different to each person that experiences it. And you will learn to respect each and every person on this earth, knowing that everyone only wants to be loved.”
-(unknown via mindless scribbles via .anquex)

because it's so ingenious and for people that don't read Fara's blog.
thanks Fara for sharing this.

hah!

of course i'm going to say more than that. please make way for my ranting if you may....

okay, a few weeks before i was like "no! i'm not going to do it! i'm not going to work because i have shit loads of assignment to do that needed my undivided attention!", i firmly told everyone that asked than faltered in my own resolve.

ironically that didn't go as i said it would.

a week before the 29th i got a phone call from ardika and he was like
" i saw your sister's names and tina's name on the list! you should join too!", he gushes excitedly.
i was excited over this little new information because the thought of working with my sisters and tina and ardika would be like one big party!

ardika bailed because he had to go back to college though, which was very unfortunate

so i texted akak and she gave me the green light.
supposedly the plan was to work on the 29th and 30th only but when i heard that we are getting paid TRIPLE on the 31st, i just had to jump in and get myself involve. after a confirmation from akak that it is true, i told her i will be working half day for the 30th and half day for the 31st.

that's a laughed, i was contemplating the whole time there weighing out the pros and cons of me working FD on the 31st.
so you guess it, i told the akak again that i might be working fd the next day if i finish my assignment when i get home after this. this was on the 30th. so, fueled by determination and greed, i squeezed my brain out to produce a short story that i wanted to produce. the results were brilliant!
i managed to write until my bum cramp up and my eyes watered. salute to my chemical romance for giving me inspiration to write that night.
this is the playlist which i named "set-list" that i've made to keep me going
my way home through you
kill all your friends
headfirst for halos
vampire
skylines
this is how i disappear
the sharpest lives

i hope my lecturer wouldn't get shock when she reads it...it's not exactly clean cut or sugar coated.

anyways, working was good fun this time because the guys i worked with were really really really RAJIN man!
they don't complain or avoid doing work and they were goofy and funny. i think they're all good friends because i can see some BROMANCE going on in there!
so much love passing around them that i couldn't help buy be sucked in their good-natured behavior that i had to laughed and giggled every time i see them.

this one morning we were waiting, yes WAITING for customers to come in and one of them put on backstreet boys and had that grin on his face. they were talking to each other about it i guess because sudden;y one of them shot up his hand and said
" I WANNA BE AJ!", and the other went "I WANNA BE NICK" and so on.
i was "whaaatt??!" then laughed watching their little antics.
it does not end there. they suddenly moved together to the end of the counter where i was standing with my sis and started to sing out loud to the song like they really were playing the part! they even took turn to sing (which, you know how boy band do), then they were laughing like idiots over it.

fun and frolicking aside, 31st would not be 31st without dipshits that just get a kick out of ruining other people's day. i was working the cashier again and we were short of small changes due to the fact that the bank was close, there was this one uncle that wanted to be a bizatch to me because i gave him 10 1 ringgit notes because we were out of 10 bucks.
that was my breaking point! he was like sighing why i gave him that and that it's not good for business, going "isk...isk..come on la miss" with a strained voice.
i wanted to jumped over the cashier and tackle the sonovabitch because the rage i felt just "POP"-ed inside me. but, this is life, not fightclub. so i just told him that i don't have any and ignored him. i was so pissed of that i cried a bit, which made me more embarrassed because there we other customers watching in a line hence making me more emotional and all teary eye.
le sigh.....
so i just sucked it in and continued my rhythm of punching the screen and and tearing the receipt violently.
the rest of the night went by without anyone giving me any problem.

now i just can't wait to get my pay because i want to go dunks hunting with tina in KL.
yeYEAH! woots woots.
i even just ordered this really cute checkered flats online so that i can wear with my baju kurung for raya. oh, speaking of that,
HAPPY FASTING PIPS!
ps: the person just replied me back about the flats!!
yayayayayayayayayayayyyyyyyy

31st

i felt like i was going to pass out before we break our fast.
-the end-

hurricane

the emotional storm swept everything that was important to me.
stripped off my better judgment , i wonder about the reason behind this tragedy,

"is this it?"

i hope we don't become like Lennon and McCartney

torch delight

i wrote this almost 2 weeks ago and forgot to publish it because a few guys were hovering over my pc while i was writing this and i got uncomfortable so i just saved it in draft and totally forgot about it.

torch delight
is the name i've came up for your kinky invention, FARA.

a masturbating torchlight was the ingenious gadget fara came out with while we were chatting around the dining table. it's always a whirl-wind with those two around in the same room. you can't stop talking bout nasty sticky stuff when they're next or across you. i wasn't feeling dirty much to jump into the conversation and make it dirtier(if that's even possible) because honestly?

"i haven't been talking about horny stuff with anyone in the past few months. i feel like a virgin. well, i am, you know what i meant by that statement"

i went to mel's house bright and early before the laziest worm come out to the get it's feed, then went to see tina at work for the our mission and succeed, however was faced with a dead end when i found out that the tix for world stage were sold out.

now i'm contemplating on whether i should go or not because i don't want to waste my dough on the reload if it wouldn't assure me the tix.

so after meeting tina we went back to mel's and ate scrumptious pasta with ABC soup! which i must say is the coolest thing ever, i was astound by them and smiled dorkly inside like and oof everytime i scooped them up from the bottom of the bowl and ate them slowly like it was no biggie. in my head, i was mentally rearranging the words and that made me grin like a mental patient. later, mel came back from the kitchen with a few celery sticks and danded them over to me and fara. i took it caustiously and asked what is this for? i mean, it's a whole celery sticks that haven't been chop off, what the hell am i suppose to do to it right. so i started to pluck them bit by bit and sprinkled in into my bowk of pasta, however my action was met with a protest from mel saying "nooo,that's not how you eat it!", she then took her stick and chew the end like it's a piece of carrot which followed by a forkful of pasta.

that's how it's done!!

yes, i was puzzled by this little dining ettique(sp?) but laughed it off and try my best to immitate her which only met by an awkardness and a sense of silliness at the same time. i continued my way of eating those sticks and hear fara talkign about dicks and machinery.

they are such jocund company!fara anf mel...not dicks and machinery

you should read rant by chuck palahnuik,

until tehn..ttfn

this is not critical matter

you should know what i'm addicted to right now.
Barunson notebooks,

i have the top left! for just rm3.50, they are like my little quirky companions containing all my notes and post-its. i've made a vow to collect and use them, i've just finished one notebook so i went to sunway and bought 3 more, which are absolutely different designs from each other.
hmm..haven't seen the sweet afternoon yet at the shop.

and yes...they're from korea, so emme and tina and cheer on that.
they really make the cutest notebooks.

hooked on...EMME YOU MUST READ

blogspots that acts as boutique.

i'm suppose to be studying but instead im on the net scouring through the links of multiples blogs to look at pretty clothes!

i've found this plus size blogspots(yes there are more than one!!) that sells purdy clothes at low prices because they are usually second hands or bundled, who cares if it's not brand new, i can say that it's vintage.

for normal size lasses like you, there are much much more variety of clothes to pick from.
prices that range from as low as rm15 for branded and hard to find goods
such as those pics above at SunflowerLoves
there's alot more that you guys should check out by just going to their blogs and look at the people the follow,meaning other shopping blogs.

so right now, most of the blogs are having sale so if you're on a budget just try checking them out and see if it fits your style and purse at the same time.

as for me, i'm going do little bit more clicking cause i've found some pieces that i like.
i can't wait to get my 31st paycheck...
but i'll probably think 10 times before making any purchases that's for sure.

at chatter-natter.blogspot.com

-i'm out for now-

ninny

right i just remember, i'm working 31st after all.
i severely need the dough.
and fara, the kak said you stand by la just incase some one drops out last minute.

there's more but i can't remember.

stop and freak out freak!

as you know, i was freaking out like a mat hater about the script during the weekends going
"ohmygwad.ohmygawd.ohmyggawdd.what's next.what's next??"
but that all was sorted out with some help from tina.
they've accepted my ideas and now we're going with it. i'm very thrilled and excited about the whole affair.
it is tittle 'THE TWISTED FAIRYTALES'
great tittle huh?
as exciting as this sound, i have to say my work will pile up for the rest of the semester. I just saw the past year questions for my subjects and start to freak out again. they aren't exactly a walk in the park.
i'm thinking about it too much that i feel kinda numb. see, talking about it made me forget about the fun things i was going to say.

shite.

after 1 1/2 hour back-2-back of fairytales

i came out with the introduction and got stuck there like a giant gum on my hair, which then led me to pulling out the strands every 10 minutes until my brain fizzle out and my eyes waters.

i'm so looking forward to get some inspiration from the missus herself, i need some humor and flavor in my story, something outrageous maybe? but not entirely bonkers. so i'm planning to go to Tina's house tonight after this.

soo, the following piece of information will contain that is NOT FOR THE FAINTED HEART.
Last friday i thought i was free from obligations and had dream of spending my 3 days by doing the script. that dream was dashed by an aching feeling in my stomach went i had arouse from slumber the next morning. naturally i woke up around 11am and thought i was hungry due to the churning in my stomach. so i went to the kitchen and grab to toast which didn't do much accept made it worse, so stupidly thinking my stomach was still hungry i went force my self a bowl of cornflakes not knowing that 15 mins later i will see it again all over my dad's bathroom sink in smoothie like form.
yummy?
not one bit.
i kept feeling vomity at first but didn't bother with it cause i never vomit, ever, this is probably the second time i've known of doing so.
so it went like this;
blurghhh-breath-blurghhh-breath-blurggghh-breath-blurgh
my tummy felt so much better in 5 mins then queasy the whole weekend. i told my sis about it and she was like, sound like a symptom of a gastric patient .
i went like "man, that's funny if i do have gastric, i'm fat! that makes no sense at all, not like it's bone in there, i have plenty of flesh to go around!?"
then she goes like "yeaahhhh, that'll be unnatural and funny"
=_=
so dad went to see this ustaz because of something else and came back home with limes and bottles of water. he made the whole family take 'mandi limau', i was n't happy about this as you guess, cause i really don't want to believe in all this malay traditions. urgh and we call ourselves muslim. do they teach that in the quran??(i don't know but i've never heard of it)
but i did it anyways to shut him up, it itches after you shower due to the salt and pepper in it. i felt like air limau ice for the rest of the evening.
however, it did made my hair awfully, smooth and tame.
=D

update on world stage: i've re-entered the competition using my sister's name and birthday date.also using fara's answer, i've combined it with mine.
all right until then, buh-bye Gens.
MEL IS COMING HOME ON THE 29TH!!! THIS WEDNESDAY!

i feel vile

full details on my vomiting spree on monday okay? wouldn't want to leave you good souls on that eventful time.

i'm at M's , tonight's plan is to watch the fairy-tales so i can write the script already which have me pulling my hair out at the moment.

on my last post, i forgot to say my buh-byes because i was in a hurry.

so to make up for that
TTFN you tards!
you know we should now start calling ourselves Gens=genius cause none of us are retards.
ps:MEL WHEN ARE YOU COMING HOME??

MTV WORLD STAGE:MALAYSIA!

I've just entered the competition on mtvasia.com for the free tix without reading the TERMS AND CONDITION first. i wrote a totally brilliant answer to the comp question and was getting my hopes up of winning but was trampled over by this condition:

the contest is open to all legal residents aged 21 and above, of the following countries: Thailand, Philippines, Korea, China, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Indonesia, Malaysia and Singapore.

fuk-a-doodle-do!!!!!

so, fara, my plan is keep tuning in to fly.fm starting next week. hey, is there any chance you can put your mum's name and ic on the competition? if she wins, there's four tix.=D

a thought just occur to me, my sister is 21! i can put her name and birth date! i'm going to do it!

500 days of summer,our next JUNO

starring none other than my favorite indie actor and actresses , yes it's a match made in indie-dom when they cast those two to be in this movie.

i first saw her in almost famous, which is the movie that had shaped my dreams. i later then saw him in Brick and was awed by his performance as the cool, smart and smooth detective character.

YES I AM SO HAPPY THEY'VE JOINED FORCES

only Emme knows how much i love this guy and this girl.
you know at first i didn't recognize him because he looked so young and boyish in this compare to his previous movies like brick, maniac and mysterious skin.
it is so refreshing to see him acting in something that is not emotionally disturbed and depressing.i know he is capable of doing both.


not sure if it will be screening here(don't count on it if it's indie, look at Juno, when was that showed here?THIS YEAR!?)
it has started screening in the States on the 17th of July.
i'm going to scour the net for dates and if that comes back negative, you know the answer right?
;P
Summit

until next post, dudettes

ps:CHECK YOUR COMMENT BOX, my school pc wouldn't allow chat box to appear.

whattaaayamean??

guys, remember in high school we always complain that they gave us whiny, frivolous and depressing poems to study in our literature component?

we should have been thankful because those were easy-peasy-pumpkin-peasy.

this is what i have to understand

Milton! thou should'st be living at this hour:
England hath need of thee: she is a fen
Of stagnant waters: altar, sword, and pen,
Fireside, the heroic wealth of hall and bower,
Have forfeited their ancient English dower
Of inward happiness. We are selfish men;
Oh! raise us up, return to us again;
And give us manners, virtue, freedom, power.
Thy soul was like a Star, and dwelt apart:
Thou hadst a voice whose sound was like the sea
: Pure as the naked heavens, majestic, free,
So didst thou travel on life's common way,
In cheerful godliness; and yet thy heart
The lowliest duties on herself did lay.

i've read it and went...@@$%^&*, but with the help of Mr.Google AND my lit teacher, i can understand william wordsworth twisted words and double meaning.*fuh*


hopefully it will prevail in my quiz today...yes a quiz.

wish me luck you fiends!
ps: harry potter tonight if possible.

18th!

a birthday picture spam for fara cause she said she wants a piece of irish bloke last night.
sorry i can't post dirty ones, i'm in the uni's pc, people are peering.

today marks the birth of a sarcastic yet brilliant friend of mine by the name FARAH HAZELEENA.

you lassie, can now legally smoke and watch sex-rated movie at the cinema. which makes no different at all right?

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY YOU NUT!

my morning went wrong before i even woke up. i had a dream starring miley cyrus and a dead girl which wasn't me or any of you lot(thankfully). i woke up with a startled by that dream, turns out i left the radio on and guess what song it was playing?

THE CLIMB by miley cyrus...sish, the other day i had a musical like dream with everyone singing "DAMN GIRL" by AAR ironically... turned out i've put them on and felt asleep to it.

however, miley cyrus fake voice (i'm not so positive that was her solely on the vocals) wasn't the killjoy of my day but the thing a friend and i bought for someone was in a state that wrenched
my heart the moment i saw it. it's a wonder i didn't went into a seizure looking at it.

after seeing the state of it, my head just went into worry + angry= wangry(tina's) mode. for those who doesn't know, what happen when i'm in this mode is that my eyes goes all big, distant
and vacant when actually my head is having this fight about how to fix it.

i was doing this the whole way in the car to uni that only half the way that i've realize of one vital device i should have with me.
MY PHONE!
hence, i then went into a panic mode for fear of mum nagging and shouting at me like i'm 5 feet away from her. (i then told her of my carelessness, which got the fearful reaction)
so now i can't contact tina to ask her what should i do and to text my mum when my class finish.
by the time i've reached my first class at 8 am, my mind was worn out by the battle conversation i had in my head. so, the class went like so
"yapayapyap,input and output..yapyap..CPU send this to this...yapyapyap"

it is save to say that it's not my favorite subject at the moment.

so here i am babbling away like a parrot about my morning and wishing fara a good birthday, which actually should have been posted an hour ago but i accidentally had deleted my blog post earlier due to more stupidity.

shite!it's 2 pm!class starts now!
TTFN pips

the loop

“Dude, I feel pretty much out of the loop at the moment”

A wave of realization hits me while I was mindlessly playing with my pen in IT class yesterday of how much I hate making new friends because I’m a private and skeptical person, yet somewhat positive. I do nowadays need to be reminded by a few good friends (THANKS TINA AND FARA) of being a ray of sunshine because I’m constantly with my thoughts these days and they are not bright as they used to be.

So how do I find my classmates you ask? Honestly I don’t know, they are pretty enthusiastic bunch but it looks like it’s breaking into cliques at the moment. I HATE that. That’s what happen in high school and I’ve managed to avoid that entirely by being myself and naïve. Obviously I’m not so at this point of my life and the people that constantly inspire me to be true and embrace my abilities are miles away. I will have to do this all on my own.

The question today is, how do you remind that part of you that was.. yet move on to explore other parts?

I’ll get back to you in 2 ½ years to see if I manage to be who I am to today yet better.

on a ligther note, harry potter will be out next week!!

ps:tina,i've been having lucid dreams like your too..one where i wake up like this (0.0')

holy shit...thank you..?

SURAT
TAWARAN Bahagian Pengambilan Pelajar
Universiti Teknologi Mara
40450, Shah Alam Selangor, Malaysia
Tel: (603)5544 3164, 3165, 3166, 3174, 3175
Faks: (603) 5544 3170
e-mel: bpp@salam.uitm.edu.my


NUR NADHIRAH BINTI ZAINAL ARIFF
NO. 12,JALAN AMPANG EMPAT,
27/20D,TAMAN BUNGA NEGARA
40400, SHAH ALAM
Selangor No Pelajar: 2009485082
No Kad Pengenalan: 911111146158


Sukacita dimaklumkan bahawa anda ditawarkan tempat untuk mengikuti program di UiTM:


Program: (HM115) Sepenuh Masa
DIPLOMA SENI KULINARI
PENGURUSAN HOTEL DAN PELANCONGAN


Kampus: P - UiTM Kampus Bukit Mertajam Semester: JULAI 2009



Sila datang mendaftar di tempat yang ditetapkan.


Tempat: UITM KAMPUS BUKIT MERTAJAM
PERMATANG PASIR, 13500 PERMATANG PAUH


Tarikh: 27/6/2009 Masa: 8:30AM - 12:30PM



Kemudahan dan Bayaran


Anda dikenakan bayaran yuran pengajian satu semester, SILA RUJUK BIL BAYARAN untuk membiayai pengajian anda di UiTM


kemudahan kolej kediaman : DISEDIAKAN
yuran pendaftaran peperiksaan : TIADA


PENTING
1. Anda dikehendaki mematuhi syarat-syarat tawaran seperti berikut.
2. Sila bawa sijil-sijil asal seperti surat beranak, kad pengenalan, SPM, STPM, Transkrip Diploma, Transkrip Ijazah dan lain-lain SEMASA MENDAFTAR.
3. Anda dikehendaki membuat pengesahan penerimaan / penolakan tawaran dengan segera dalam tempoh yang ditetapkan melalui laman web di http://www.uitm.edu.my/intake .
4. Calon hanya diterima sebagai pelajar UiTM setelah datang mendaftar, membayar yuran pengajian serta memenuhi syarat kemasukan yang ditetapkan oleh UiTM.




KETUA
BAHAGIAN PENGAMBILAN PELAJAR

whaaaaaaaaaat??
i've already enrolled into MSU for about 1 month now.
if my parents know this, i'm afraid they'll force me into taking this course. i know you'll probably thinking, damn selfish this girl and all that she doesn't believe in her own ministry of education crap.HOLD UP!!
i've checked a few weeks ago when emme got her's and it said i didn;t get it.
what the heck??i'm too pissed of because i'm thinking of not only myself that this is happening to.what about the others that had probably enrolled themselves into a private because being rejected by the local uni.private doesn't come cheap,my is okay, i'm thinking about a few people i know that had to pay their apartment rent monthly that's not provided by the ptptn, or the text books that cost rm100 a pop in every subject just makes my skin crawl.i had to endure so much shit before about where and how to continue my study and now i feel just bitter.

don't get me wrong, i like it here so far because of the freedom they give us to grow.there will be plays and projects that i usually never got the chance to try because i wasn't a top student or a perfect. now i do and i feel that i can do more things, even on my own.
that sounded like a convincing speech for my parents, i'm scared they wouldn't understand. all they see is money.

so you're asking me how did i even know this now?
a text message was sent to me on the 26/6/2009...the day before you have to register yourselves into the choosen university.

WHAT THE FUCK?>.<
so tina and fara, maybe you guys should just check it. here's the link
http://istudent.uitm.edu.my/intake

brief introduction of myself

this was my first assigment,my next is about LOVE.i'm giddy with excitement at the freedom given by my lecturers to write about anything.

I’m not one to ponder much on separating myself from my peers. At least that’s what I like to believe. I’ve stop justifying myself a long time ago because I’ve learnt the bitter taste of judgment. However that doesn’t mean I don’t evaluate myself entirely. That wouldn’t be normal right? Like the Beatles said, living is easier with your eyes close but that’s just not living at all. As human beings we have to constantly evolve and measure ourselves to fit a certain mold that is our own. I’m a girl not likely to be your best girlfriend but I’m often referring to be a good friend. Friendship to me is something that wouldn’t risk degenerating into obsession; it is never anything but sharing. I was born under the zodiac sign of Scorpio on the 11th November somewhere in the beginning of the 90’s where boy bands were all the rage. It is legitimately stated on my birth certificate that my name is Nur Nadhirah binti Zainal Ariff, but as widely known as Irah. Honestly, I don’t even know how that nick name came about. After a week spent facing those eerily white walls of the clinic I was brought home by two ordinary man and woman into a 2 bedroom flat owned by the KTM, my mum’s former employer. We were a close knit family even though not always conventional. I didn’t just grow up with my 2 older sisters and parents but my mum’s siblings and thoughtful neighbors that were both caring and helpful. Leaving in the dodgier side of Kuala Lumpur didn’t mess up with my upbringing because of my parent’s religious background that will always remain rooted inside of me. We left KL for Subang Jaya to be nearer to my dad’s work place and build a life in the suburbs. I detest it because no one was that friendly and I miss exploring the secret pathway to the weekly ‘pasar malam’. Nevertheless, I just found new places to explore and fitted right in until 12 years passed and this is where I call home.
I just want simple things in life that will assure me a sense of freedom, independence and creativity. That’s my long term goal, to be able to express myself through any medium that will evoke questions and realizations in some one. I’ve yet to be completely confident of my goals but I’m getting there one step at a time. Hopefully I am. I just adore those people that give back to the world with what they can and have without money as their main objective. So that’s why I’m taking this path of teaching because I want to learn from my elders and give back to the people that need it. I know I can’t offer money but I think knowledge is far greater than that. Hence, that’ll bring us to my short term goal which is to fully immerse myself in university life by acing my diploma and having countless opportunities to grow as an individual that’s never veering from the path of my asian values and muslim beliefs. My strategic scheme to make this all possible you ask? To never give up, surround myself with people that appreciate life and respects themselves, work hard, be thankful for what I have leaving in this lushes country and of course forgive myself and others when the hiccups occurs along the way. Losing my mind in the process is permitted, but I’ve always managed to crawl back into the sun. I know this is all rather corny and idealistic, but everything start with a notion than the wheel will start to work for those ideas to become a reality. I know that now that you can only plan and pray the order of your life but it is all up to Allah to smooth out the wrinkles along the way.

17 again

going to go watch it tomorrow at KLCC wit cousins and sister.

i've got a chat-box because i know m,tina and hazel loves to crap alot, therefore i welcome their ongoing internet rants.

i think i've slowly mustering the courage to make my move with a certain male friend.
=D

please get me a guide to relationship

i need one.

i've never thought it would come to this, but it has and it felt like i can't pull myself away from the temptations of having it.

therefore to distract myself from such silliness i have come up with a plan..

-that is to not plan at all(this is hazel's idea btw)
-get involve in a photo project
-focus on self

-irah-

One of the boys

now all the decisions and more waiting is what has my life been for awhile.where can you find me this days?i rather not say for fear of you cool people see me flustered behind the counter of a particularly well known shop or laughing my ass of with my face beet red(not like is usually not) with the guys feeling apart of the group.
i'm going to miss them and feel rather nostalgic whenever i come across any bits and pieces of life thrown at me in the near future.

yeah,there were some really awful incidence but it couldn't triumph the countless laughter they had provoked me because i know I AM A TIGHTASS the work.that's another thing that i've never thought apart of me.But apparently when you are thrown into an entirely new situation and out of your comfort zone,you will feel that you have to try your best to show that you have no weaknesses.especially when you're among guys,yes they tend to be harsher than girls but when they show you the occasional compassion.you MUST be a ROBOT to not feel a little bit move by the notion(MINUS orangeboy)because it is so precious that you want to physically capture the moment.

well now i do,somewhat like a tattoo.
well a wound to be exact,that will never go away.
imprinted on my left arm.stupidity comes to you when you are bored.mix in a little with a bunch of 17 year old boys with such BRIGHT ideas(don't belittle ok,they do sometimes comes up with good ideas=D)but in this case..was not one of the more brighter bulbs in the box.

i'm so HAPPY that everyone(TINA,FARA,MARISA,MEL)have started blogging regularly like i have been badgering them before.But ironically? i'm the one that haven't been updating mine.
just sitting here collecting virtual dust.

my post ends here because i'm parched!
need some liquid in me and the loo after that.
until next time faithful readers.

OHMYGAWD PIZZA!i love m's house,mesti ada makanan banyak

-Irah

update of my life ;D

The digitally programme magic eight ball had screwed with my confidence. In exactly four days i will get the verdict. I wonder how hopeful you can get before life throws you down harder than you’ve imagined in your head every time the fear arises. Will i feel like the ground underneath my feet suddenly gone and all i can feel is falling into a sunless hole that leaves you broken not physically but mentally. I fear that. Will i cry and weep? That even the merry-happy tunes of Lenka wouldn’t heal me...

You know it’s not myself i’m worried about..but the thoughts of others that surrounds me. I’ve made peace with myself. It’s even safe to say that i know where i really stand. I’m not going to lie to you or myself because this is real. I have faith in Allah..i really do, but i’m not going to use him in vain because i want something. When you didn’t really work hard for it, you really deserve a good slapping on the head. Mine would be like a good ol bashing!

Nerve-wrecking but judgement day will be harder. This,i have the chance to live and start over. I wonder is it because i have that thought in my head that i’m in the state i am in right now. Somewhere between never never land and never was. You know being unsatisfied with what you do daily and who you are.

The year started out with a bang to my heart in the romance compartment. That was a bust but other area had bloomed steadily and beautifully. Met some new interesting people in an ice-cream shop where they thought me about all the flavours. Ironically people resemble these flavours. Some stand alone great without having other flavours to tingle your senses...but occasionally when the two odds flavours combine together it made and explosion in your mouth. Like Marisa said “orgasm in your mouth!!”. They really should make that a tag line and an add-campaign to go with it. I have it in my head now..sexual but hey, sex sells! The boys would go wild for it, like the chuppa-chup add, “the pleasure of sucking”, that screams sexual innuendos so it sticks in your head like right now at four o’clock in the fuking morning after you’ve only seen the add once or twice. The only reason i’m sticking around there is money and the people. But mainly money, im getting closer and closer to getting myself a brand new baby call bulls-eye! Oh, we girls love a good contraption. Big and functional! And before you go there, i’m talking about an SLR, nothing more...i swear.

I don’t know if you should wish me luck,it doesn’t seem appropriate to me. So just be strong and faithful about how i lead my life, sorry i’m not as together as you are. I’m a little messy and rough around the edges even thought i look soft as ice-cream on a very humid day. That’s just my face okay?;D and i wouldn’t have it any other way.

--------that was last night---------

i'm watching NICK AND NORAH'S INFINITE PLAYLIST with Emme.

;]