Friday, October 23, 2009

18 and still green

"life is giving me obstacle, still I bite my tongue and say life is wonderful"-ZEE AVI

i've been listening to zee avi alot lately and find her filling the void in my life rather nicely. at first her album seem boring yet captivating. but after i heard the 4th time i distinctly picked out my favs and burned it into my 37 days of summer mix cd. i ponder into the meaning of her songs and let myself go to her sweet serene voice that reminded me of being by the beach side under a hut with my eyes blinded by the sun yet filling entirely contented by the heat flushing my skin.

not what i felt just now while waiting for dear ol sister at the side of the roadside inside the car without the AC on and breathing in the debris and dirt the KL air has to offer it's population.
i was in a dangerous mood because i hate waiting. that i have no patience for. i cursed the sun and everyone on my path because i need to vent out the anger boiling inside of me. as if god is laughing at me i saw a huge billboard saying

"HAIL THE SUN"

fuck you.


you must be bored of my on going rant about silly things so i'm going to change the direction and steer you to more clearer water with less obscenity in it.


yesterday i called a very good friend and listened to her breaking down on the other line of the receiving line trying to contain herself. time like this i would trade anything to obtain the power of teleportation.

after talking to her and giving my two cent on her sticky situation i came to a realization that we try so hard to define who we are at a tender age because what everyone said and perceive what we should be. i feel deeply disturbed by the way of thinking most people had towards who and what you should be. i know it's only natural to want everything in life such as happiness, money, stature and a spot in society. but most people is succumbing to a life of endless scrutiny and pushing themselves aside to fit into the the mold. but come on, we all know that with the life we live in now, nothing is set in stone.

i hope my peers will stay brave and unadulterated so we wouldn't be a carbon copy of each other.

so, i blithely ask you to throw it all into the bonfire and watch it blaze and shimmer in front of your unnerving eyes then spazexercise around it while singing incoherent chants.

honestly, we're only 18, it is okay to not know what we want to be in life. all we can and should do is find it and make the best of ourselves in this world that's constantly changing it's direction.i'm a firm believer that as human being we are constantly recreating ourselves.

i'm turning 18 in 2 weeks so this is for myself really, so i don't forget who i am and let the world wash away myself day by day.

until next time, probably in 3 weeks.


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