holiday blues

days join together into one never ending day. that is what a long holiday feels like. especially when you are waiting for your life to be over. you can't do anything but lie there on bed and stare at the ceiling thinking of everything and nothing all at once. you start to pick a fight with yourself. getting angry about the could have been, the should have been and the had been while your body remain stationary through the shouting, persuading and cooing. at the end of if, both your mind and body feels like they just went through some sort of a battle but with no scars to prove but just silence and far-away eyes. nothing make sense.

Maybe I have foreseen days like this..maybe I am encouraging it..then maybe I need to let it out of my system.

holiday blues,
you come here with your smiles,
thinking you can coax me into your madness.

I say well,
you can have me today,
just not tomorrow.

Irah