Sunday, April 27, 2008

the fiend and engagement aftermath

The fiend.

A sense of awkwardness hang above all of us and it’s thickening day by day. Truly, maybe none us had really moved on from the incident inflicted by our lack of maturity and inner monster lashing out because inside I think we’re all just one sad ill girls boasting power towards people but behind close doors we hid under the blanket because we fear of the black silhouette on the wall and the loud tapping on the windowsill during a stormy night. We couldn’t just rubbed off the black spot tainted on our friendship because maybe in the first place this quirky boldness of euphoria was just a false pretence in stepping up the so-called social ladder. A way I bet all of us thought to expand ourselves socially and having this some sort of little fame of our own in this little inner circle of friends. How we had failed not just ourselves but the people that really matters along the way. None of us had hoped for something beyond each others reach at one point, hoping for the failure of another and the embarrassment of each other. We wasn’t the little girls we thought we were anymore, we had became the full fledge girls that used ourselves as a weapon to bring each other down just to feel this some sort of superior towards another. The forms of elements used wasn’t just beauty but intelligence that were knowledgeable to others.
How far will this silence hold in place so we don’t have to actually face each other off? You know, if we were to live in the medieval times, we would have face each other with such ferocity like we wanted inside. Bring out the swords, shield and horses my lady. We’ll have a duel with one another to prove our rights and to protect our ego and dignity, or should I say what’s left of it? I thought of one us dying, but at least we don’t have to live in this silent madness of lies! That’s not like living at all.
We’re so fickle minded , don’t even try to deny that fact.
my thoughts wasn't filtered when i wrote this, so its really frank and bitter.


this doesn't really relates with the events that had happened in my life, but just the part of it.

i learned that you can't just blow it away by not talking about it and forgetting it, because this things has a way of bitting you back in the arse.

therefore,i want to remember part of it all.
even if its not pretty.

On a lighter note, last night m slept over and we went to my neighbor's daughter's engagement party. It was the BEST engagement party i've been too, hands down, it think i;ve gotten my fair share of awful ones.

Punjabi really knows how to throw a party, and shake it all right there and then!
they literally broke out into dance moves, with arms in the air and singing "priya,priya,priya" into chorus.

mind you,me and m was tempted to jump it too, but that'll be to hard for the pips to handle yo!
right m?

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