the loop

“Dude, I feel pretty much out of the loop at the moment”

A wave of realization hits me while I was mindlessly playing with my pen in IT class yesterday of how much I hate making new friends because I’m a private and skeptical person, yet somewhat positive. I do nowadays need to be reminded by a few good friends (THANKS TINA AND FARA) of being a ray of sunshine because I’m constantly with my thoughts these days and they are not bright as they used to be.

So how do I find my classmates you ask? Honestly I don’t know, they are pretty enthusiastic bunch but it looks like it’s breaking into cliques at the moment. I HATE that. That’s what happen in high school and I’ve managed to avoid that entirely by being myself and naïve. Obviously I’m not so at this point of my life and the people that constantly inspire me to be true and embrace my abilities are miles away. I will have to do this all on my own.

The question today is, how do you remind that part of you that was.. yet move on to explore other parts?

I’ll get back to you in 2 ½ years to see if I manage to be who I am to today yet better.

on a ligther note, harry potter will be out next week!!

ps:tina,i've been having lucid dreams like your too..one where i wake up like this (0.0')

holy shit...thank you..?

SURAT
TAWARAN Bahagian Pengambilan Pelajar
Universiti Teknologi Mara
40450, Shah Alam Selangor, Malaysia
Tel: (603)5544 3164, 3165, 3166, 3174, 3175
Faks: (603) 5544 3170
e-mel: bpp@salam.uitm.edu.my


NUR NADHIRAH BINTI ZAINAL ARIFF
NO. 12,JALAN AMPANG EMPAT,
27/20D,TAMAN BUNGA NEGARA
40400, SHAH ALAM
Selangor No Pelajar: 2009485082
No Kad Pengenalan: 911111146158


Sukacita dimaklumkan bahawa anda ditawarkan tempat untuk mengikuti program di UiTM:


Program: (HM115) Sepenuh Masa
DIPLOMA SENI KULINARI
PENGURUSAN HOTEL DAN PELANCONGAN


Kampus: P - UiTM Kampus Bukit Mertajam Semester: JULAI 2009



Sila datang mendaftar di tempat yang ditetapkan.


Tempat: UITM KAMPUS BUKIT MERTAJAM
PERMATANG PASIR, 13500 PERMATANG PAUH


Tarikh: 27/6/2009 Masa: 8:30AM - 12:30PM



Kemudahan dan Bayaran


Anda dikenakan bayaran yuran pengajian satu semester, SILA RUJUK BIL BAYARAN untuk membiayai pengajian anda di UiTM


kemudahan kolej kediaman : DISEDIAKAN
yuran pendaftaran peperiksaan : TIADA


PENTING
1. Anda dikehendaki mematuhi syarat-syarat tawaran seperti berikut.
2. Sila bawa sijil-sijil asal seperti surat beranak, kad pengenalan, SPM, STPM, Transkrip Diploma, Transkrip Ijazah dan lain-lain SEMASA MENDAFTAR.
3. Anda dikehendaki membuat pengesahan penerimaan / penolakan tawaran dengan segera dalam tempoh yang ditetapkan melalui laman web di http://www.uitm.edu.my/intake .
4. Calon hanya diterima sebagai pelajar UiTM setelah datang mendaftar, membayar yuran pengajian serta memenuhi syarat kemasukan yang ditetapkan oleh UiTM.




KETUA
BAHAGIAN PENGAMBILAN PELAJAR

whaaaaaaaaaat??
i've already enrolled into MSU for about 1 month now.
if my parents know this, i'm afraid they'll force me into taking this course. i know you'll probably thinking, damn selfish this girl and all that she doesn't believe in her own ministry of education crap.HOLD UP!!
i've checked a few weeks ago when emme got her's and it said i didn;t get it.
what the heck??i'm too pissed of because i'm thinking of not only myself that this is happening to.what about the others that had probably enrolled themselves into a private because being rejected by the local uni.private doesn't come cheap,my is okay, i'm thinking about a few people i know that had to pay their apartment rent monthly that's not provided by the ptptn, or the text books that cost rm100 a pop in every subject just makes my skin crawl.i had to endure so much shit before about where and how to continue my study and now i feel just bitter.

don't get me wrong, i like it here so far because of the freedom they give us to grow.there will be plays and projects that i usually never got the chance to try because i wasn't a top student or a perfect. now i do and i feel that i can do more things, even on my own.
that sounded like a convincing speech for my parents, i'm scared they wouldn't understand. all they see is money.

so you're asking me how did i even know this now?
a text message was sent to me on the 26/6/2009...the day before you have to register yourselves into the choosen university.

WHAT THE FUCK?>.<
so tina and fara, maybe you guys should just check it. here's the link
http://istudent.uitm.edu.my/intake

brief introduction of myself

this was my first assigment,my next is about LOVE.i'm giddy with excitement at the freedom given by my lecturers to write about anything.

I’m not one to ponder much on separating myself from my peers. At least that’s what I like to believe. I’ve stop justifying myself a long time ago because I’ve learnt the bitter taste of judgment. However that doesn’t mean I don’t evaluate myself entirely. That wouldn’t be normal right? Like the Beatles said, living is easier with your eyes close but that’s just not living at all. As human beings we have to constantly evolve and measure ourselves to fit a certain mold that is our own. I’m a girl not likely to be your best girlfriend but I’m often referring to be a good friend. Friendship to me is something that wouldn’t risk degenerating into obsession; it is never anything but sharing. I was born under the zodiac sign of Scorpio on the 11th November somewhere in the beginning of the 90’s where boy bands were all the rage. It is legitimately stated on my birth certificate that my name is Nur Nadhirah binti Zainal Ariff, but as widely known as Irah. Honestly, I don’t even know how that nick name came about. After a week spent facing those eerily white walls of the clinic I was brought home by two ordinary man and woman into a 2 bedroom flat owned by the KTM, my mum’s former employer. We were a close knit family even though not always conventional. I didn’t just grow up with my 2 older sisters and parents but my mum’s siblings and thoughtful neighbors that were both caring and helpful. Leaving in the dodgier side of Kuala Lumpur didn’t mess up with my upbringing because of my parent’s religious background that will always remain rooted inside of me. We left KL for Subang Jaya to be nearer to my dad’s work place and build a life in the suburbs. I detest it because no one was that friendly and I miss exploring the secret pathway to the weekly ‘pasar malam’. Nevertheless, I just found new places to explore and fitted right in until 12 years passed and this is where I call home.
I just want simple things in life that will assure me a sense of freedom, independence and creativity. That’s my long term goal, to be able to express myself through any medium that will evoke questions and realizations in some one. I’ve yet to be completely confident of my goals but I’m getting there one step at a time. Hopefully I am. I just adore those people that give back to the world with what they can and have without money as their main objective. So that’s why I’m taking this path of teaching because I want to learn from my elders and give back to the people that need it. I know I can’t offer money but I think knowledge is far greater than that. Hence, that’ll bring us to my short term goal which is to fully immerse myself in university life by acing my diploma and having countless opportunities to grow as an individual that’s never veering from the path of my asian values and muslim beliefs. My strategic scheme to make this all possible you ask? To never give up, surround myself with people that appreciate life and respects themselves, work hard, be thankful for what I have leaving in this lushes country and of course forgive myself and others when the hiccups occurs along the way. Losing my mind in the process is permitted, but I’ve always managed to crawl back into the sun. I know this is all rather corny and idealistic, but everything start with a notion than the wheel will start to work for those ideas to become a reality. I know that now that you can only plan and pray the order of your life but it is all up to Allah to smooth out the wrinkles along the way.

17 again

going to go watch it tomorrow at KLCC wit cousins and sister.

i've got a chat-box because i know m,tina and hazel loves to crap alot, therefore i welcome their ongoing internet rants.

i think i've slowly mustering the courage to make my move with a certain male friend.
=D

please get me a guide to relationship

i need one.

i've never thought it would come to this, but it has and it felt like i can't pull myself away from the temptations of having it.

therefore to distract myself from such silliness i have come up with a plan..

-that is to not plan at all(this is hazel's idea btw)
-get involve in a photo project
-focus on self

-irah-

One of the boys

now all the decisions and more waiting is what has my life been for awhile.where can you find me this days?i rather not say for fear of you cool people see me flustered behind the counter of a particularly well known shop or laughing my ass of with my face beet red(not like is usually not) with the guys feeling apart of the group.
i'm going to miss them and feel rather nostalgic whenever i come across any bits and pieces of life thrown at me in the near future.

yeah,there were some really awful incidence but it couldn't triumph the countless laughter they had provoked me because i know I AM A TIGHTASS the work.that's another thing that i've never thought apart of me.But apparently when you are thrown into an entirely new situation and out of your comfort zone,you will feel that you have to try your best to show that you have no weaknesses.especially when you're among guys,yes they tend to be harsher than girls but when they show you the occasional compassion.you MUST be a ROBOT to not feel a little bit move by the notion(MINUS orangeboy)because it is so precious that you want to physically capture the moment.

well now i do,somewhat like a tattoo.
well a wound to be exact,that will never go away.
imprinted on my left arm.stupidity comes to you when you are bored.mix in a little with a bunch of 17 year old boys with such BRIGHT ideas(don't belittle ok,they do sometimes comes up with good ideas=D)but in this case..was not one of the more brighter bulbs in the box.

i'm so HAPPY that everyone(TINA,FARA,MARISA,MEL)have started blogging regularly like i have been badgering them before.But ironically? i'm the one that haven't been updating mine.
just sitting here collecting virtual dust.

my post ends here because i'm parched!
need some liquid in me and the loo after that.
until next time faithful readers.

OHMYGAWD PIZZA!i love m's house,mesti ada makanan banyak

-Irah

update of my life ;D

The digitally programme magic eight ball had screwed with my confidence. In exactly four days i will get the verdict. I wonder how hopeful you can get before life throws you down harder than you’ve imagined in your head every time the fear arises. Will i feel like the ground underneath my feet suddenly gone and all i can feel is falling into a sunless hole that leaves you broken not physically but mentally. I fear that. Will i cry and weep? That even the merry-happy tunes of Lenka wouldn’t heal me...

You know it’s not myself i’m worried about..but the thoughts of others that surrounds me. I’ve made peace with myself. It’s even safe to say that i know where i really stand. I’m not going to lie to you or myself because this is real. I have faith in Allah..i really do, but i’m not going to use him in vain because i want something. When you didn’t really work hard for it, you really deserve a good slapping on the head. Mine would be like a good ol bashing!

Nerve-wrecking but judgement day will be harder. This,i have the chance to live and start over. I wonder is it because i have that thought in my head that i’m in the state i am in right now. Somewhere between never never land and never was. You know being unsatisfied with what you do daily and who you are.

The year started out with a bang to my heart in the romance compartment. That was a bust but other area had bloomed steadily and beautifully. Met some new interesting people in an ice-cream shop where they thought me about all the flavours. Ironically people resemble these flavours. Some stand alone great without having other flavours to tingle your senses...but occasionally when the two odds flavours combine together it made and explosion in your mouth. Like Marisa said “orgasm in your mouth!!”. They really should make that a tag line and an add-campaign to go with it. I have it in my head now..sexual but hey, sex sells! The boys would go wild for it, like the chuppa-chup add, “the pleasure of sucking”, that screams sexual innuendos so it sticks in your head like right now at four o’clock in the fuking morning after you’ve only seen the add once or twice. The only reason i’m sticking around there is money and the people. But mainly money, im getting closer and closer to getting myself a brand new baby call bulls-eye! Oh, we girls love a good contraption. Big and functional! And before you go there, i’m talking about an SLR, nothing more...i swear.

I don’t know if you should wish me luck,it doesn’t seem appropriate to me. So just be strong and faithful about how i lead my life, sorry i’m not as together as you are. I’m a little messy and rough around the edges even thought i look soft as ice-cream on a very humid day. That’s just my face okay?;D and i wouldn’t have it any other way.

--------that was last night---------

i'm watching NICK AND NORAH'S INFINITE PLAYLIST with Emme.

;]