To Fara:

i want to write a few of this post for you because i can't seem to think all at once. my mind is in a state of sluggishness where there are moments where my mind seem to be quiet as if it is in mourning too for your lost. then these words starts to spur out like getting the last bits of ketchup out of the bottle. I have to literally pry it out of my head because it gets stuck between sadness and worries.

I wish yesterday was a dream for all of us dear, especially you my dear. Maybe it is wrong for me to say that, because its a waste of time to be in denial and we should just accepts that this is Allah's grand scheme of life. However, it does not mean you have to swallow it whole like a good little girl eating her medicine because its good for her. Show a little bit of resistance of you want because i want that drive to extol you always get up and face your day better than yesterday. I know right now you dont have the will to walk the line confidently like you usually do but man you have more balls that any other girl i know (and i know a few) so believe in yourself that you have the guts to be better without your hero my your side.

he has thought you well, you are the most stable-headed girl i know so maybe it is his time to go. he was such a great father to you and your siblings, please remember the light he has shone in your live and bring that where ever you go.

even when you've done that and the day still seem bleaker than ever, you know where to find us tards because we are here for you through thick and thin. we were with you when the day was sunny and blue, we will be with you when your days are damp and grey.

okay?

i love you so much Farah.