truth is, i miss writing here. ive been making progress with my journal. when i say progress, it means writing my ramblings unedited on smooth cream coloured pages and feel like ive achieved some sort of goal.
you see, its the only way for me to remind myself of my dream. wish is to able to write better than the day before. Also to be able to let out the multitude of inner conflicts that seems to never go away by just talking to someone. writing helps me reflect and discover things ive never even thought off.
its nice.
it makes whatever im facing today seems easier because i just keep on looking to the future i want for myself and it keeps me calm because i have something that i want badly. maybe it will ruin me, because we all know that desire means despair.
oh,the contrary(philosopher that said that,whom i can't for the life of me recall right now and too pump out in writing here to be googling on another tab),
it is a promise i've kept to someone i love and i don't have the intention to let down someone that is so near and dear to me. i will try my best. besides, it has always been my dream to wonder somewhere new. I'm just thirsty for an adventure and better understanding of each other as well as having the opportunity to polish my english language skill.
hopefully, it'll work out. hopefully the adults understand why i have to take a break. i just don't want to go with the flow anymore because the flow isn't bringing me to places i want to go.
i've decided to stay abroad (Australia) for a period of time before continuing my degree. yes, ill probably waste more than half a year but i don't want to rush into anything unless i am positive about my choice. insyallah i will be able to satisfy my inner gypsy.even if it's for a shorter period than i've planned.i know now that, there is nothing wrong with dreaming big.
you'd think with all my big talk, i'm not afraid. well kids, ive always been afraid to dream. this is a first for me.
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