my little decoy

what would you do when you looked around and saw the wreckage desire had tragically fell on you and the people you love?what have we done that is so wrong to deserve such beatings? how much more would we pawn to get a little taste of affection?

"you have to pay for wanting the wrong things"

the game we played left us buckled on our knees with our arms hugging ourselves while rocking it gently back and forth trying to ease the shock that still runs down our spine. we couldn't even find comfort in the consolation of the people that have loved us from the start. Partly, we blamed it on them for not warning us about this game that will leave us spent, broken and used.

everyone was nursing their bruising hearts at their corner with hands shaking and face vacant but eyes full of emotions that flickers from despair to anger and back to despair.

At that point all I wanted was to run.Run out of this place. It seemed to be sucking the life out of me. I'm starting to forget who am I.

"Who am I?"

I ran towards the heavy wooden door and twist on the knob but to no avail it wouldn't open. I could hear the clinging of their shackles especially made for me so they can keep me here.

"Fuck,they're coming for me"

My heart was racing, my mind was screaming and I acted on instinct. I took a few steps back and went for it. I slammed my right side to the door and wailed out from the pain. However sadistic i may sound, it never felt so good to hear the crushing of bones of my right shoulder and the door bursting open at the same time. My body thought otherwise though.I blacked out from the collision before seeing whats on the other side.

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Close your eyes and make believe this is where you want to be
Forgetting all the memories, try to forget love cause love's forgotten me
Well hey, hey baby, it's never too late pretty soon you won't remember a thing
And I'll be distant, as stars reminiscing
Your heart's been wasted on me

You've never been so used as I'm using you, abusing you
My little decoy
Don't look so blue, you should've seen right through
I'm using you, my little decoy
My little decoy
-Paramore