yawn

classes have been as interesting as watching paint dry on a sunny day. my eyes just couldnt help but glazed over everything the lecturer says while my mind drift off to other things that are non-educational related. i dont hate it, just unenthusiastic about the whole thing. when i say THE WHOLE THING, i meant what i am studying. its not bad, just that it could be better...so much better. like they say, talk is cheap...no wonder everyone is buying into that. however, it has came to my attention that maybe it is me and not my alma mater to be blame for this lack of enthusiasm.

i've been walking through this semester with both my eyes close because of work and now i'm feeling the consequences.

however, i do feel like i've missed the train that im supposed to board with everyone else but didnt and now i'm on my own journey to catch up to the next stop so i can board the train. which in my demented head is far more interesting and exciting then being on a bumpy train with a bunch of people i dont know and wouldnt understand me.

find, this makes me a loner. so what? i was never conventional anyways. i tend to do stupid things and fall flat on my face. so what? it's not always enjoyable to walk in my shoes, but i've made my choices for reasons only i understand (ok,half the time i dont have any because i make shite along the way). i've met some interesting people along the way and they've made me learnt about being more accepting of things i was previously biased about and about myself.

this passed few months i was praying for courage and strength.
i still am.
sometimes wanting to voice out your opinion can be so daunting it will keep you up at night or figuring how to manage your assignments that the thought of it can almost make you give up.

maybe i am burnt out for this year, i cant believe its august already.

i need to just hold it together until october comes so i will be free of these obligations.