eyes close,heart open,take flight

i can't seem to stop myself from dreaming up a world where I and you goes together like bread and butter. ah,the romantic side of me is fighting off the cynic with a stick vehemently. its almost comical if you picture it.

ill embrace this feelings because i need to smile and see the beauty in every blunder that seems to be associated with you.

lets put aside the silent awkwardness in a jar and throw it out to sea and fill a new one with lots of lovely memories so we can bury it for remembrance. one day,we will dig it up again and marvel at the past that was the reminiscent of our youthful heart; careless and idealistic.

why dont we?

come join the dead poet's society

i felt inspired to write something more poetic after watching the dead poet's society and reading a copy of haruki murakami's dance dance dance.

it was dusk out, so we bask in the remaining off the day which filtered into my bedroom hitting its orange rays across my face and i smiled like it gave me some sort of power. but i smiled because i saw you watching me with those eyes.and i smiled because the always vacant gap between my fingers was filled with yours for a change. all i had to do was grasp on to them and let the heat roll on between our bodies through the lacing of finger tips that was more intimate than any other touch.all i wanted to do was hold your hand and watch the sun goes down from my bedroom window.
we can save the rest for other days.

she left me in awed

i've always had a yen for redheads :)

what do you think?shall i go back to red?i think i shall.

BANG BANG BANG

i saw the crazy look in his eyes when he put that gun to my head and whispered death treats in my ear like a soft passionate
manner of a lover. at that moment,all i thought about was the boy i didnt get to kiss which
infuriates me to no end knowing that was my last thought before some one put a hole in my head.
so you know what i did? i said 'hit me with your best shot asshole!'.oh boy did he gave me his best!

yawn

classes have been as interesting as watching paint dry on a sunny day. my eyes just couldnt help but glazed over everything the lecturer says while my mind drift off to other things that are non-educational related. i dont hate it, just unenthusiastic about the whole thing. when i say THE WHOLE THING, i meant what i am studying. its not bad, just that it could be better...so much better. like they say, talk is cheap...no wonder everyone is buying into that. however, it has came to my attention that maybe it is me and not my alma mater to be blame for this lack of enthusiasm.

i've been walking through this semester with both my eyes close because of work and now i'm feeling the consequences.

however, i do feel like i've missed the train that im supposed to board with everyone else but didnt and now i'm on my own journey to catch up to the next stop so i can board the train. which in my demented head is far more interesting and exciting then being on a bumpy train with a bunch of people i dont know and wouldnt understand me.

find, this makes me a loner. so what? i was never conventional anyways. i tend to do stupid things and fall flat on my face. so what? it's not always enjoyable to walk in my shoes, but i've made my choices for reasons only i understand (ok,half the time i dont have any because i make shite along the way). i've met some interesting people along the way and they've made me learnt about being more accepting of things i was previously biased about and about myself.

this passed few months i was praying for courage and strength.
i still am.
sometimes wanting to voice out your opinion can be so daunting it will keep you up at night or figuring how to manage your assignments that the thought of it can almost make you give up.

maybe i am burnt out for this year, i cant believe its august already.

i need to just hold it together until october comes so i will be free of these obligations.

sweet embrace?

woah, who was that writing on this blog for the passed few posts. aren't you just ready for lots of laugh again? i am.
this is my thoughts on romantic novels that always got it wrong. oh,and it is me flipping off to the girl that wrote all that
pathetic ass post about her short-lived over exaggerated love life.

first of all, you know im no innocent lass that gets blush with the mere mention of sexual intercourse or sexual desire.heck,
if you didnt know better, you'd be shocked by the amount of sexual innuendos i can come up with that will leave you
feeling dirty to the bones.

where do i get this flattering wit?

simple,books.

i know,what in the world!

here is my confession:

hello,i am nur nadhirah aka irah and i was an addict to romantic novels.

note that i used WAS because truly,i got over them. its like eating junk food, you like it for sometimes but then you start to see
the toll it has on your body that it left you rather sick and disgusted. well,that how these novels felt like, but
its to your brain! just feeding crap about love that are totally and utterly bull from start to end. reading romantic novels is like
having a quick fuck with a stranger, after the heat and excitement wound down, you're just feeling hollow.

however, it was a path i didnt regret venturing into because reading is still reading despite the content, it has helped
improved my english.
so here i am to tell you the truth what those books were trying to feed you

myth:1) tall-dark handsome and perfectly chiseled face

truth:for once, i want the guy character to be real to the guys we face every day. which is average-height,loop sided grin
and sweaty palms. now wouldn't that be a story worth seeing what happen? come one, if there is this tall-dark handsome
and perfectly chiseled face appear in front of me, he is either gay or a vain asshole and not some humble chivalrous
guy.

myth:2) she looks like a model but she doesnt know she's beautiful

truth:that is a bucket load of horse poo! i swear to god it agitates me to no end when the authors play this card.
sheesh,are we suppose to feel related with the insecurities of the character. yes,break us down with the whole
body issue and set us up for the fall because we all know the truth that we dont measure up in the end anyways.

myth: 3) love at first-sight

truth: i would too if i look like heidi klum and he looks like hugh jackman. see my point?

myth: 4) the sex is epic

truth: i've asked around and from what i've derived, sex aint a walk in the park. it's like tango. do you know how
to tango?? i dont. you would never get it right the 1st, 2nd,3rd time, it takes a lot to be that earth shattering.

myth: 5) the perfect happy ending?

truth: why do most of the ending of the novels they end up married and the girl end up being
a baby making machine while he makes lots of money. why dont the girl ever turned out as successful as the guy instead
of at home playing the good wife? the feminist in me is concerned by this. do we girls have to depend solely
on a our guy for financial security? call me hatred but i think this thinking for a happy ending is just to darn
old-fashion and narrow minded.

so basically, i just wanted to enlighten you with my perspective on romantic novels. i think we all need a laugh of two these days, because it seemed like everyone is in a rut and taking them selves too seriously.