Jibber Jabber

I was going to tell you about how my day was but you’re not my boyfriend so I’ll save you from being bored to death or maybe just confuse with the antics of the people I’ve voluntarily decided to call friends. They can be a handful, but you will get use to them once you give them a chance.

So then I thought, why not talk about spending Thursday night consoling an eleven year old that it is ok to be different? That’s a good topic. I’m all about celebrating uniqueness! However, I don’t feel like getting all roil up and end up sounding all preachy at 4 o’clock in the morning.

I then did want to tell you about the narrow mindedness of a human being that I call a friend towards the people I love. I know now that some people can never get past the stereotype. But you are not my shrink so I should just zip it. Then what you ask? What can we talk about if it’s not my day, my friends and my worries?

Lets just put on a thinking hat and come up with something interesting to say. Or better yet! Do the noodle dance! You do know what is a noodle dance don't you? It is where you shut your eyes and start shaking what your momma gave you and think of noble ideas to solve a problem.

That brought me back to being 10 and a couch potato. I’m still am, but for only a period of time. That is during the holidays and when my brother isn’t hogging up the television to himself. Which I must say, what he does most of them time. You know, when I was younger my primary school teacher always asked us to manage our time properly for homework and watching cartoons. She said we need to cut down our tv time to 2 hours a day. I started calculating of the time I spent in front of a box and frown. Not because I was spending way too much time on watching tv, but because it was impossible to cut down to only 2 hours a day. Just thinking of all the cartoons I’ll be missing gave me a headache. I thought she was utterly crazy for saying that. Really, I did.

If she could see me now, I can go days without watching the tv!
Although,lately I've been indulging on tv more than i should on tv series instead of cartoons. one can never get enough of criminal minds! to me, it is a daily reminder of how fuck up the world is and it's okay to feel paranoid sometimes.

Anywho, i think i've yapped on more than i should. hope you're not falling off your chair reading this post. As for me, i will finally be spending the week free of assignments and projects since november.

ain't that nice?

(is it me, or do i always end my blog post with a question?)

oh we meet again

Mr. Holiday i awaits your arrival with peachy cheeks and a beaming smile. I've got my shoes on and clothes set for our one week adventure.

will i sing again?

Kate wasn't in to moderation

Thats what led to her frustration

And the state of her crumbling heart

Says I'm not a girl for temperance

Though I know its at my hearts expense

But a downward spiral has to have a rock bottom

She paints the walls blue and green

Singing about her lovers and dreams

And explains her helpless desperation

Take off your shoes

Unravel your blues

This place is full of beggars and choosers

But the consequence of her liberty was bad

My hearts wants to go one way

My mind don't agree

Cause they,

They have fallen out recently

Know thy self

She said as she guided me round the land of the dead

Introducing her friends stuck in the same mess

Ships might be built for sailing my love

And easels made for painting

But you ain't no sailor and I'll never be camera shy

My hearts wants to go one way

My mind don't agree

Cause they,

They have fallen out recently

She said

Will I praise again?

Oh will I praise again?

- Mumford&Sons

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will i sing again?

will this voice calls out again?

why wouldn't it?

why wouldn't you try?

well, i wasn't any good in the first place.

only she made it sound better for the both of us.

now that she is here no more,

i can't seem to sing again.

not if it's her.

only her.

one day, we'll meet and I want you to say that you are sorry for making me wait so long.

mumford&sons

I love that i didn't stumbled upon them but had the sudden urged to finally give them a listen after reading their name here and there on the net and of course, Frankie Magazine. But you know me, when it comes to music, I have to not plan or sought out, but discover. I somehow feel more connected to it when it is able to depict things I am unable express. Especially through music (you know i can't sing to save my life). So when i saw them performed on the Grammy, I was just amazed at their enthusiasm in playing music. They were at it with their foot-thumping and head-banging(yeah,who would have thought you can head bang to folk music *i certainly didn't*) antics all the while smiling at each other cheekily, just made me smiled. I was sold right there and then.

Astonishingly, I've found that their songs, aren't just songs. they are poetry that i wished to delve into like it is something out of my english literature book. I find them so honest, so i like a little honesty in my life right now. Not to mention that they're a bunch of romantics when it comes to life. their outlook on the world transcend in their music. Just nothing short off wonderful really.
Oh,it helps that they have that alluring brit?scottish? accent. everything just sounds better in a british accent really.

Before i turn all fan-girlie on you, i best end my ramblings here.

Hope, it'll be a better week devoid of heartaches, tears, rage and of course,natural disaster.Japan, you'll make it through. If you can rise from the aftermath of Hiroshima, this is nothing. Your determination will always be the talk of generations.

knock*knock*

hey, i've been coming here and pondering if i should write my thoughts down and hit that publish button and feel for a moment that my words might actually meant something to someone. i have issues i know. i also know ive let some people down by saying my goodbye a few weeks ago. *shout out to Miss Cho for have always been giving great support in my ongoing rambling here*

truth is, i miss writing here. ive been making progress with my journal. when i say progress, it means writing my ramblings unedited on smooth cream coloured pages and feel like ive achieved some sort of goal.

you see, its the only way for me to remind myself of my dream. wish is to able to write better than the day before. Also to be able to let out the multitude of inner conflicts that seems to never go away by just talking to someone. writing helps me reflect and discover things ive never even thought off.

its nice.

it makes whatever im facing today seems easier because i just keep on looking to the future i want for myself and it keeps me calm because i have something that i want badly. maybe it will ruin me, because we all know that desire means despair.

oh,the contrary(philosopher that said that,whom i can't for the life of me recall right now and too pump out in writing here to be googling on another tab),

it is a promise i've kept to someone i love and i don't have the intention to let down someone that is so near and dear to me. i will try my best. besides, it has always been my dream to wonder somewhere new. I'm just thirsty for an adventure and better understanding of each other as well as having the opportunity to polish my english language skill.

hopefully, it'll work out. hopefully the adults understand why i have to take a break. i just don't want to go with the flow anymore because the flow isn't bringing me to places i want to go.

i've decided to stay abroad (Australia) for a period of time before continuing my degree. yes, ill probably waste more than half a year but i don't want to rush into anything unless i am positive about my choice. insyallah i will be able to satisfy my inner gypsy.even if it's for a shorter period than i've planned.i know now that, there is nothing wrong with dreaming big.

you'd think with all my big talk, i'm not afraid. well kids, ive always been afraid to dream. this is a first for me.